And yet another interesting perspective over a fantasy meal (Meadow and Intoxication, your everyday rituals of food&tease, you make imprints!). A ‘she’ researcher finds it important to bring an inner child in when playing with children. Not to enact a child’s game by taking a ‘playing parent’ role, but involving from one’s authentic playfulness. Then it’s real fun. The same with sexuality – I thought – bring an inner child in, not a role (or techniques).

My homework from a student {from a drawer of narcissistic gazes into one’s own photo}  There’s something one wants to hide when one looks into own reflection in the mirror. “You want to hide from yourself, but at the same time you feel strangely attracted to that and you want to get to know (this side of) her.” – she said, telling me to find what it is.

Since the Academy opened I have been longing for a day beyond schedules, where not a single time do  have to look at the clock. Now the day off came and of course I decided to go out instead. To experience what I had wanted, I would have to go from full restriction to half-restriction, not to full freedom. Interesting. There is autumn in the park now. No doubt about it. I can smell it without even looking.

Imagine that for the first time I participated in a class as a student. The Nurse it was. The power in her voice made me have to look at her. And I saw 2 birds in me: a strong, embracing, leading fire “eagle” bird, and a little birdie that wants to be led and surrender. Yes, bird is somehow part of my poetic self.

The Translator was back and made so many of the staff happy. A ghostly monday in the Academy and another transition spent between 2 significant beds. That’s where I also took Island to show her my “special moments” spot. And she took us crawling to the evening rain. Freshness. I wonder where my love wanders in the final part.

Cockrouch poetry with Clarice Lispector. It took me by surprise and made happy that I fell in love again. I knew  that poetry can be art, but fiction…

Judy Budnitz and Haruki Murakami – oh, how I love reading them!, but Clarice fills me through almost every sentence. “I am not promiscuous. I am kaleidoscopic”, she writes.

I received a dream catcher, the most beautiful egg I have ever seen…and a suitcase. Thank you! I will unfold it tomorrow, but touched already…

“Finding my child” at the Academy, I brought you along, my beautiful pregnant friend. Today I asked people to nurture each other’s children. And acknowledge also being a bad parent sometimes…

Attraction to something strange, foreign, other-wordly when this last artist was on stage.

Goodnight.

So happy to be your Facebook friend. Didn’t know your name. It’s pretty.

I received a beautiful sharing in a pencil-hand-written letter, and then another one followed, asking me to forget about what I just read.

A spontaneous class, a short one, with four students, taking detour to the dormitory after which suddenly 5 more entered my room, as they just followed us. And something seeded there. I asked them for help and inspiration for a game that all of us will want to play. So we started threading. That ghostly class as new beginnings somehow. For now at least 2 people are also interested in the element of “being seen”. Or was that rather their act of seeing me?

A fight and rage ritual at the Concert Hall, beautiful, I felt those two men, their movements, alertness. And when they were finished, I came into the red ring. Waiting. No opponent stepped out. But I know there were some that wanted.

The (w)Hole is searching for a job. After her mission at the Academy ends in some weeks. She’s been wondering how to thread this element into her poetic self and her function as a teacher here. Without talking about the outside world. Today at a gathering ‘Agora’ style, staff, students and researchers shared their reflections and experiences. And then it came. “I am searching for a job. I always fall into alertness when meta-talk threatens immersion into a universe. But what I really want is to perform my future job from my poetic self. And I want people to meet me in the Academy and see what I do and who I am. Because it is (paradoxically) more authentic me. I want law of attraction to connect me with those I should be working with. I don’t need to create a separation between the (w)Hole and me, cause they only enrich, extend each other…”

Leaving to heal my ear infection abroad. I have been wanting a day off inside of the Academy. But life served something else. To get me out. So I used it well on wandering and lots of fresh air. As it turned out later, I caught a clear transition between summer and autumn.