Day 5.
Insomniac energy all over her body, anticipation of an agreed meeting with someone on the (w)Hole’s personal journey (which is not only personal, if the Academy – as well as her – is all about holistic learning). Then he came. The gift became something totally different – a deeper gift, it turned out. Satisfied. But not really, only until second thoughts. Self-honesty. Cause she felt it’s in the combination of those two gifts that can close the ritual of transformation…so the insomnia continued. She rised into the unknown, made a small psychologic act related to him. Release. And fell asleep only then.
Day 4.
A stranger’s friend said “I can play other people’s games. But I really want to play my own game. But I don’t (yet) know what this game is”. Resonates. (…and I wonder what kind of contradiction two “”buts” mean).
I love complexity. The human level, the level of perfection. But even something more, I felt today.
We created a complex network of pain and nurturing in the Academy staff today. Well, not only today, but today the network showed itself so clearly.
Blindness is not a lower level of awareness but a precious tool for framing things to be able to work with what I have, instead of freezing in too much complexity.
I am looking forward to another day. Goodnight.
Day 3.
The first day of visiting gymnasium students. I am curious and nervous. Cause I want to get to know them better and explore: should I – and can I- take the path of “teaching”/facilitating for them in the future? There are two potential obstacles/potential powers: I don’t speak their mother tongue perfectly and they need to cooperate, have interest and respect to be able to benefit. And can they? Shaping my job path, you know…
When the Sister asked those pupils about the most inspiring thing they experienced within this hour in the Academy, one said: “When you don’t have anything particular to concentrate on , the level of concentration increases. You can concentrate on nothingness.” I loved it. Instantly. And left it without drilling more.
My last class was intentionally a secret lab space for the Mortal to explore what she wants from her future class on fear. It started with buzzing tension and the air of discomfort. It then turned into release, laughter, bond and good space of sharing. 3 people, 3 stories, 3 homeworks…
How can a fear be used for something good?
Fear can be connected (and is often proportional) to attraction and desire. Going for deepest desire is often a dance with fear. Force of aliveness, something important and at stake that can be strangling or transformed into power
Fear (when confronted) can be a source of deep happiness and freedom. I did it! This beyondness that makes us be more who we really are.
Fear (of losing/death) can make one appreciate what one has.
The Alien gave a concert without applause: his ritual of vulnerability.
Day 2.
I thought that the most important sharing of the day would be that I found a new clue about what I am really searching for: I want to create frames where each person fishes something precious out while we are connecting different curiosities/desires, like creating multi-personal ‘win win’ situations, connecting elements.
The other report is that we found a useless blender from a chefs mother that doesn’t blend, just moves things. I immediately associated with that art project of fish in a blender in a museum*. Our version would be called a fish-dizzifier, said the chef.
But as this diary might be consistent and kept going for 3 weeks, it feels relevant to write this now as the line of the day: I asked myself if my written sharings would be different if I only wrote for myself. The answer is yes. And at this point I don’t know what I want to do with this conclusion.
*sometimes or often, I bring those intertextual things up, but I am not interested in researching on exact names, contexts and numbers. But maybe some of you know what I mean with this fish.
Day 1. {and Day 0.}
First day of manifestation. Brain too tired to worry, so I was as happy and relaxed as exhausted. A girl came to my tableau today. I was a drained teacher after 2 hours of sleep, so I asked her what she wants to do. Not a class design I get high on (giving from my green light zone), but when I heard this, I knew it will be interesting: she wants to write about wind – as it’s her energy – and then somehow let go of it, as it doesn’t serve her anymore. How interesting – I thought – Wind on top of Water has been my new element, but very undiscovered, like loving something without really understanding it. I fell in love with “wind” men for the last year. More conscious process than before, as I have courage. There’s a strong attraction and a lot of challenging growth they trigger in me, as all they are is freshness, unpredictability, high energy and untamedness. More from a body than a head, I guided her through connecting to her passion which is different than this Wind element she is so familiar with. She found a new direction: something between Fire and Earth. And homework followed. For both of us. Cause again I discovered that asking for things, taking space and following strong attraction from a vulnerable space can be difficult. It is often much easier to give and be in control. Therefore it’s important to do it. And for me too…
Dorit Chrysler played in the evening, what a beautiful power!
But let’s start from the beginning, actually – if this process has any real beginning, in this case when first guests arrived…
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Day 0.
How often a test/backstage/a prototype is potentially more intense than what it is supposed to prepare us for! I was first witnessing and then adding perspectives to a ritual of rewriting a past scenario that never properly closed an important chapter between old lovers. Saying a proper goodbye that never really happened months ago. I cried. Because they were so courageous and present. Because it was a deep, long-term love connection with passion and awareness that I haven’t experienced with this new paradigm that vulnerability, not hiding, is a real treasure. And because I could really feel and empathize with both her and him. Katharsis. Transformation using strong, performative space.
And from amongst other interesting encounters, there was one exploring yellow light of intimacy, for both sides…and that’s what I am most interested in, I guess. In this way working for the Sisters Academy could be the best job I have ever had.
The Art of…ELEMENTS: Love {Lesson 3}
“When I proposed the theory of relativity, very few understood me, and what I will reveal now to transmit to mankind will also collide with the misunderstanding and prejudice in the world.
I ask you to guard the letters as long as necessary, years, decades, until society is advanced enough to accept what I will explain below.
There is an extremely powerful force that, so far, science has not found a formal explanation to. It is a force that includes and governs all others, and is even behind any phenomenon operating in the universe and has not yet been identified by us. This universal force is LOVE.
When scientists looked for a unified theory of the universe they forgot the most powerful unseen force. Love is Light, that enlightens those who give and receive it. Love is gravity, because it makes some people feel attracted to others. Love is power, because it multiplies the best we have, and allows humanity not to be extinguished in their blind selfishness.
Love unfolds and reveals. For love we live and die. Love is God and God is Love.
This force explains everything and gives meaning to life. This is the variable that we have ignored for too long, maybe because we are afraid of love because it is the only energy in the universe that man has not learned to drive at will.
To give visibility to love, I made a simple substitution in my most famous equation. If instead of E = mc2, we accept that the energy to heal the world can be obtained through love multiplied by the speed of light squared, we arrive at the conclusion that love is the most powerful force there is, because it has no limits.
After the failure of humanity in the use and control of the other forces of the universe that have turned against us, it is urgent that we nourish ourselves with another kind of energy…
If we want our species to survive, if we are to find meaning in life, if we want to save the world and every sentient being that inhabits it, love is the one and only answer.
Perhaps we are not yet ready to make a bomb of love, a device powerful enough to entirely destroy the hate, selfishness and greed that devastate the planet.
However, each individual carries within them a small but powerful generator of love whose energy is waiting to be released.
When we learn to give and receive this universal energy, dear Lieserl, we will have affirmed that love conquers all, is able to transcend everything and anything, because love is the quintessence of life.
I deeply regret not having been able to express what is in my heart, which has quietly beaten for you all my life. Maybe it’s too late to apologize, but as time is relative, I need to tell you that I love you and thanks to you I have reached the ultimate answer!”
Your father,
Albert Einstein”*
* Eistein’s letter to his daughter or maybe nor Einstein…
The Art of…TEACHING. Where and how to push this New Education {Lesson 2}
I am so lucky. Since late winter developing and constantly (re)shaping my poetic self as a staff member of Sisters Academy* that will open for students and researching teachers in 2015 in Malmo and late summer 2017 in Copenhagen. I can use art – an interactive performance universe – as a method and an entry point for research on alternative approaches to education. I can, through being a performer, explore what it feels and means to be a teacher and an activist (here is blog written by me as Academy staff). I can keep designing my life journey in a more creative and holistic way. That’s why I am lucky. And I want to share it. I am reeducating myself, filling important gaps school didn’t find important to teach. So I have to do that myself.
My adult life journey as a second education. Together with others. Through interaction. Cause we all have to fill our own gaps. For example what is value in and ways for real Intimacy. Sexuality. Responsibility… for yourself and others. Cooperation. Conscious leadership. Authentic Communication. Life. I am so curious what your second education would be. What holes to fill for you to make you into a more whole being.
I have some ideas. And even more questions. Let’s start here, it’s good.
If it’s true that the majority of educational models is based on old paradigms, let’s build awareness around it and experiment with new models. But without criticizing and pointing fingers – this is not a constructive activism. Let’s instead acknowledge that this (still used) old model was probably built on expertise, innovative ideas and best intentions to fit current needs. Back then.
But wow it’s time to redefine and transform. Cause – as Ken Robinson explains in the film – this mindset of ‘degree-leads-to-job’ is not valid anymore. And there’s a growing common belief amongst pupils that school distracts them from what is really important or interesting for them in life, instead of supporting and enhancing it. We maybe feel that in present times there’s a need for different skills and values. Cause we have long moved forward from intellectual culture of the Enlightenment and economic situation of the Industrial Revolution. Human value and social class is still judged according to a specific view of the mind: academic (smart) vs. non-academic (not so smart). The film mentions ADHD as a modern fictitious epidemic, and an unfortunately common practice of curing it is hurting brilliant or potentially brilliant people…by numbing them to make them more focused at school.
Deadening also pupils’ ability for untamed aesthetic experience – experience often provided by art.** – where “senses are operating at their peak; where one is being present in a current moment; one is fully alive(…)”.
I agree that schools’ real mission is awakening pupils to their full potential, instead of ‘shhh’-ing them when distracted or “too” energetic.
I also agree that best learning happens in groups, so atomizing*** people is artificial and failing to give any real evaluation, Therefore more sensuous education for me means one that supports wholeness …of being, of experiencing. The sensuous is what Sisters Academy will manifest and research on.
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Here is another take on the future of education and I feel inspired to quote below the author’s points (****) as many overlap with my own approach to workshops I myself design …
INNER-PRENEURSHIP
EDUCATION TO UNLEASH HUMAN POTENTIAL
Personal development and individual growth will become the cornerstone of any educational program.
GLOCAL AGENTS
CONTRIBUTING TO OUR GLOBAL VILLAGE
(…) the ability to think and act systemically and understand the interdependence of our global village,
VISUAL THINKING
EXPERIENCING LEARNING IN NEW WAYS
Cognition and our capacity to understand new ideas and concepts will become a highly sensitory and engaging experience. We no longer need just to “think” about an idea.
FUTURE THINKING
USING THE FUTURE AS A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION FOR THE PRESENT
Unpredictability will make future thinking an increasingly relevant skill (…) Being able to imagine, envision and forecast future landscapes
SOCIAL LEARNING
THE POWER OF THE COLLECTIVE LEARNING EXPERIENCE
Information is accessible as ever before. (…) learning is becoming by essence a highly social and collective experience. Education will play an influential role in helping us learn how to communicate better and use the power of language to establish dialogue with others in a generative manner.
CONNECTIONS OVER MEMORY
LEARNING HOW TO LEARN
More than requiring us to memorize and retain data, education will be responsible for helping us master the art of learning how to learn. In a world where everything we need to know is just out there, the (new) ability is to make connections between bits of data and consciously explore and navigate complex waves of information.
BETTER FASTER DECISION MAKING
CURATING DATA THAT DRIVES BETTER CHOICES
Being capable of rapidly curate and synthesize information and transform it into applied knowledge (…) New digital tools and mental processes will help us filter and distinguish relevant content from just noise.
ONGOING LEARNING
EDUCATION AS A CONTINUOUS PRACTISE THROUGHOUT OUR LIVES
Just like health, wellness or spirituality, education will be a continuous journey throughout our entire lives. The capacity to design and implement long term sustainable learning experiences will be a relevant competence.
LEARNING FOR ELDERS
PROVIDING AND SUPPORTING HIGH QUALITY LEARNING AFTER RETIREMENT
What it means to age and what you do with your late life will change. Elders will be eager and hungry to learn new things and gain new perspectives
VIRTUAL LEARNING EXPERIENCE
A NEW LONG DISTANCE LEARNING LANDSCAPE Advancements within the virtual reality wave (…) a new long-distance educational landscape to emerge, allowing us to provide and receive content in a highly engaging and participatory way.
CLOSE TO NATURE
THE CLASSROOM OF THE FUTURE IS JUST OUT THERE
Being close to nature helps us, human beings, be more relaxed, focused (…) The closer we get to our screens, the closer we need to get back to the natural environment.
PLAYFULNESS
HAVING FUN IS SERIOUS BUSINESS
Our bodies will be the platform where effective learning takes place
EQUALITY WARRIORS
CREATING A MORE JUST AND FLOURISHING WORLD
Our planet is becoming increasingly divided as it is interconnected. Education will need to rethink its purpose and see itself as the answer to the creation of a more just and fair world. Educational institutions will have the responsibility to take a stand for their values, and the obligation to prepare, educate and train change makers
RADICAL INCLUSION
FINALLY, EDUCATION AS AN EFFECTIVE HUMAN RIGHT
making education more accessible to large population groups that only a few decades ago were impoverished and abandoned. Education is one of the most powerful instruments for reducing poverty and inequality.
CO EXISTANCE
LIVING, CREATING AND THRIVING, TOGETHER
Our world is becoming increasingly diverse (…) Learning how to to collaborate and thrive together will be a determinant factor for success in organizations, communities and societies. Education will play a relevant role in helping new generations be more empathetic, tolerant , caring and appreciative of diversity and difference, and understand it as an asset for progress and development.
Very interesting visions! I see it as a contemporary reflection on new values and education’s important role to emphasize them: inclusion; engagement; sustainable, life-long learning; “breeding” responsible change-makers, nature; virtual learning; playfulness, more… I am happy for seeing such a transformative direction. I also want to contribute to push it forward. And I know many that want the same. And they do. We do. And it’s contagious 🙂
It is, though, important, I feel, to start from the beginning. And at the beginning are the above mentioned values, not methods or content. One can teach playfulness, effective communication skills, virtual technology or tantra, but it is values that make us use those skills in a specific way. And such awareness, values and real motivations for our actions are my point “0”. Old paradigms, myths, separation, limitations to personal expression, unhealthy competition mindset and ego patterns can only transform if we first start educating with values – not techniques – as an entry point.
I keep changing my mind and seeing more angles to it. And I will keep you updated.
** I want to by the way extend this palette of sources for aesthetic experience to include for example mindfulness, games, tantra, but not in this article.
*** …well, atomizing anything is artificial – I believe – it’s my own take on quantum mechanics (going beyond fragmentation). A reflection not for this article, though.
**** http://www.bespokecph.com/futurelearning#intro
Nature (inside of me) and Tantra
Nature around me and suddenly thinking Tantra… Tantric way – isn’t it, in a wider sense, nurturing sustainable relationship to life? Everyday discipline of love, towards oneself, towards others, towards reality, the way it is, without trying to change it.
I just came back from 29 hours in the forest, landing at 10 a.m. in Hareskov by my regular wild shelter, discovering again that all is as it was, so I can stay, occupy it, manifesting my annual ritual of sleeping under the sky in a late spring in Denmark. Staying present, creative and powerful without shortcuts works best in the morning, relaxed, before eating or other pleasurous distractions.
So I set my breakfast-alarm in 20 min, which extended into 3 hours, as it felt as the rightest thing to do to feed my powers of ‘just be’, or just connect to sth truer. Thoughts are always there (they judge all the time, all seek pleasure, want to always choose the best or they get restless when not doing something “effective”) and I guess I need to accept this personality/ego creature will be my companion all my life. After getting a feedback that I attach myself too much to perceptions, stories, I decided at this point it is the most important focus: to accept the ego, but keep reminding myself that it’s not me + that all is dynamic, and all that matters is in here&now. Feels a bit resistant to say this, cause it sounds like a spiritual broken record, but for now, I have not been able to deny its sense or find equally truthful, yet easier way to make this life-journey precious in a long term.
So I walked for hours without plan, “wasting time” (ego) or rather creating “empty time”, practicing this love approach called “as long as it takes”, being also impatient or annoyed, being also present and grateful…and scared: “will it always be so hard?”.
When time becomes less accumulated, there’s space for noticing that in the blossoming spring young leaves are very soft and have all this psychedelic juicy light green color, as if most of the trees were the same species. I had a lot of time to discover that the lake where I camp has a lot of water snakes, which reminds me that in this dance with life we often have to accept that we don’t know (whether sth is dangerous or harmless for example). I also noticed that their graceful wavy movements are to the sides, and not up&down like mermaids do.
The more I dwelled in this no-purpose wandering, the more I felt comfortable confronting people I met on my way. More curious in interviewing, more courageous in prolonged eye-gazing with strangers, more radiant and self-confident doing what I want, without fearing to be perceived as weird. Sitting like an elf entangled in tree roots’ hugs by the common bike-lane, or just standing and staring long at LARPers like a stalker – all this felt more authentic when in this state of mind that remembers that we can be and do what we want and no personality or role is sticky, cause all of them are equally (un)true or equally important.
The night was cold and magical. This forest have been witnessing a lot of suffering, joy and transformations in me throughout years. I pay tribute, also to various others that shared those moments with me there.
The Art of…LEADERSHIP : becoming a teacher again. initial steps. initial thoughts. {Lesson 1}
The process of developing classes is like (re)creating myself. A ritual and research that already started when I said yes to the project. Here are some initial thoughts on the journey with Sisters Academy*.
I am interested in dedicated, extended processes in a group, like long-term relationships, like Club de la Faye’s ‘Rituel du Papillon’ project, like Pina Bausch worked with her family of dancers, like Frank recording an album. Where the unique inner culture is shaped, where unwritten law is clear to everyone that everyone feels responsibility to hop into a leader’s role when needed; where everyone understands that we all have to get a little bit wilder…and a little bit honest, de-sweetening our relationships.
I want to put myself occasionally in a vulnerable position to grow together with my students. I want to occasionally become their pupil. I want to empower them and let go, wishing they will become better than me.
My intention is to be contagious with what I have to offer. And what inspires others depends mostly on them. And I want them to understand that. Understand that it takes two to tango. That we should always take active part, even as receivers, followers, audience. And remember that it’s everyone’s job to share their treasures with the world without hiding behind ‘un-readiness’, behind “not an expert”, or “who am I to teach you anything”. Stay humble, but be powerful. And use it for something good.
There’s tens of ways of serving. Sometimes we have to just shut up and listen, sometimes we need to question and shake somebody back to the right track, sometimes we need to play, touch or seduce someone, because (s)he needs to get into the body. Sometimes harsh feedback. Sometimes unconditional love.
I want students to reflect not only by answering, but by asking others good questions, really seeing each other. To faster get under the surface.
I feel I need to stay aware that I might impose on students my way of perception, expression, interaction, evaluation.
‘Sensous’ for me means integral. A healthy balance to one-sidedness of rational education, where the Head rules and deprives of juice.
I am inspired to work with different energies in connecting to space and each other.
Prioritizing variety also accidentally helped me solve the dilemma: “should I teach what I am already good at OR should I design and try out something new again?” And now I know: I need to bring both to play, 2 different classes, 2 different focuses. And one joker. Like my name is still a joker. And my alternative child that has been conceived, but when it comes to the world and in which form is yet unknown. At this stage of the process, I will call myself “the (w)Hole”.
The (w)Hole, slowly finding her child…
* you can still enroll as a student or a researching teacher at the Academy 30 August – 20 September 2015 in Malmo, Sweden. Stay from 24 hours up till 3 weeks: http://booking.sistersacademymalmo.se
on showing oneself. {blogging, life stories, secrets and trivialities}
Breaking the silence. I have been given many precious lessons in courage by Club de la Faye and Crazy Wisdoms of the New Tantra. It’s time to start sharing experience and present different perspectives for the sake of breaking myths and prejudices (also about oneself). One can call it exhibitionism, another generosity…or maybe it’s just humility?
I’ve been thinking about things that prevent me from sharing experiences, life-stories and perspectives unless asked. They are so locked between my private world and closest friends. Realized what has been taming my expression, holding myself back:
-“It has to be perfect/checked/look good before I express”
I refuse to do that anymore. I can build credibility in other ways…and I will. Generalists don’t have time for polishing details.
-“I need to ask people or institutions if I can mention them in my text”
No. It’s my dynamic, non-proportional* virtual universe of free speech and subjective experiences. As, I said, it’s mine, nothing to do with objective truths.
-“I need to be careful what I expose about my private life”
Yes, to some extent. All in all, it’s more a question of a higher purpose of sharing.
-“I can’t speak good theory and inspire others if I don’t live it myself fully or not an expert” Oh yes, I can. And I should. Too many treasures are held back because they are not “good enough” yet.
Often bringing new light to old classics or collecting existing treasures is bigger an art than creating new things.Besides, don’t we all hear that nobody creates sth completely new? A.Jodorowsky might be right to quote: “In art, he who is no one’s child is a son of a bitch.” So why pretend? Fuck patents. Share, steal and customize. Give credit to your influencers. Silently is also fine.
So if I don’t reference a quote, an idea-initiator, an inspiration-source or a photo author, forgive in advance. Most of the times it’s a conscious choice. You are always welcome to poke me with a reminder.
I have limited resources. And I respect my energy. I recommend you use yours well, too. Hope some of my blog inspires you. And thank you all out there who inspire(d) me.
*dynamic, because frozen words are only fresh for a new reader, never fresh again for me (read: everything is only here and now); non-proportional, cause I allow myself with joy to sometimes put enormous focus on trivial things and trivialize the biggest life events.