Author: Portable Door
Hiva Oa: middle of Pacific Ocean
this is my FORWARD MEMORY
(thank you, Christian, for coining that word)
Five remote islands I have never visited and will visit …tomorrow
(thank you, Rolf, for the book)
I will fill this post’s space with MEMORIES with time.
If higher forces in the air allowance me. 4 flights one way, 5 flights return.
Merry Christmas
The End of England: Isles of Scilly
Islands.
Islanders.
Surrounded by water 
All around, the four sides of the sea melt and form a deep 360° boundary, encapsulation.
It’s Indian Summer’25 and I am on Tresco Island. I am preparing to visually write about ISLES OF SCILLY.
TIDES
LABIRYNTS
SCANDINAVIA ❤💙❤BRITAIN
Welcome to my ISLANDS blog that will be growing with time.
I went to visit Abbey Gardens on Tresco Island with a boat. I was surprised by the feeling, the atmosphere and what it did to me. I haven’t felt so happy in a place since I visited Vancouver Island 20 years ago!
I met a local man here, too, Julian*, who is a biologist, working with archeologists and volunteers on the Isles. His history is very uniqie as he moved from Orkney Islands to Scilly some years ago
Nothing is more precious than personal stories told over a beer.
The next day I visited St. Agnes Island where a 300 years’ old labirynth exists and has lots to do with Vikings. Julian has sent me there.
I walked around the island quite blindly without a map or phone and there was no guarantees I find the LABIRYNTH.
But I did!
Isles of Scilly won my heart and as much as I almost never come back to the same travelling destination, I will come back to Tresco and Agnes.
*Julian Branscombe, thank you!
artificial Islands of Denmark: Ungdomsøen and Flakfortet
Islands.
Islanders.
Surrounded by water
All around, the four sides of the sea melt and form a deep 360° boundary, encapsulation.
Welcome to my ISLANDS blog that will be growing with time.
Here is my first, when I officially started the project “I am drawned to islands” on summer’24 when sailing and staying on Danish Ungdomsøen outside Copenhagen.
Islands make one or me only feel both safe and stuck without supplies if one (me only?) has not brought enough of…
FOOD !
{ or wait, give it a thought, what was it that one would bring to a semi-deserted island?
if one thing only can be brought? }
Cause ships coming and going from island are graceful and bring resources.
Bjork has written an anchor song 
– piosenka kotwica (pl.)
which sounds like that
We just spent a weekend on Danish Ungdomsøen (Youths’ Island) on the occassion of Peace Camp.
Our ship was gracious too, a Cornish crabber from 1971 with Gavin as captain.
video
the peace manifestation in the harbour was artistically initiated by Pipaluk (video by Magnus).
Ungdomsøen ( previously called Middelgrundsfort ) is the biggest of three islands seen from the north end of Copenhagen Channel – artificially built for protecting the land from seaside war attacks. (photo and article from ‘Båd’ magasin’18)
The second of the 3 – Flakfortet – I had sailed 
to many years ago on my own boat. Without knowing any of its history. We only talked to its islanders. People living on and running the island that once was military’s, then abandonded, then went into private hands and opened for sailors visiting. Then temporarily closed because of visitors bringing potential damage to its historical heritage.
Interesting people…
Trekroner, the third island, we would sail to and practice harbour maneuvers for Dueligheds Bevis exam.
Yes.
And all those words above to give a sensation of peculiarities of Island as space and beautiful, strange culture.
And because I feel there’s a vibe in Islands. And in places once upon a time abandoned by military.
Which shift then into another shape.
Two Waters’ kissing point
I am in Hel…
Poland.
I am drawn to Islands.
I write to share today about kissing points of Waters and my new favourite Polish spot.
Look.
A kissing point. Polish Land’s End.
I am drawn to Islands. Hel is a half-island or more a 36 km long amazing sand penisula, a nature phenomenon.
My brother told me that in communist era there was absolutely no access to the tip of Hel.
Military was there. You see it and feel it as you walk through the forest leading to the very end of land. Last summer I wrote about our experience on Danish former-military Island by Copenhagen, Ungdomsoen, that one is though man-made.
Hel is water-made.
My yesterday’s fascination by Hel Penisula was also extra stimulated by an article from 2009 I’ve found in webarchive.
It mentions both nowadays’ Hel and Stary Hel (Alte Hela) – a city further down the penisula that had apparently existed centuries ago and then sunk.
One of underwater hidden lost cities with ruins found under sand and mud?
I am fascinated by the (un)FINISHED WORKS by WATER.
To be continued.
Finding my Child as Life’s Testament?
What would your Child be if you didn’t have human kid(s)? I was high up in the air on the plane to Helsinki when I first initiated this post. It is in the aftermath of our collective workshop-ritual that I connect new knowledge with visual memoirs.
At the Helsinki’s University of Arts 23-26 February 2025 for the NSU winter symposium, I invited participants to together embody this ENQUIRY
What is your alternative Child?
《Results and dynamic memories, thank you all !》
aftermath images of 《Alternative Child》
the Island
Islands.
Islanders.
Surrounded by water
All around, the four sides of the sea melt and form a deep 360° boundary, encapsulation.
Welcome to my ISLANDS blog that will be growing with time. Below four clickable doors to four different past island experiences, including one forward memory: something that has not happened yet, but will happen
…tomorrow.
I am on the way to Marquesas Islands in French Polynesia.
Below is my first story, when I officially started being “drawned to islands” on the summer’24 when sailing and staying on Danish Ungdomsøen outside Copenhagen.
Islands make one or me only feel both safe and stuck without supplies if one (me only?) has not brought enough of…
FOOD !
{ or wait, give it a thought, what was it that one would bring to a semi-deserted island?
if one thing only can be brought? }
Cause ships coming and going from island are graceful and bring resources.
We just spent a weekend on Danish Ungdomsøen (Youths’ Island) on the occassion of Peace Camp.
Our ship was gracious too, a Cornish crabber from 1971 with Gavin as captain.
video
the peace manifestation in the harbour was artistically initiated by Pipaluk (video by Magnus).
Ungdomsøen ( previously called Middelgrundsfort ) is the biggest of three islands seen from the north end of Copenhagen Channel – artificially built for protecting the land from seaside war attacks. (photo and article from ‘Båd’ magasin’18)
The second of the 3 – Flakfortet – I had sailed to many years ago on my own boat. Without knowing any of its history. We only talked to its islanders. People living on and running the island that once was military’s, then abandonded, then went into private hands and opened for sailors visiting. Then temporarily closed because of visitors bringing potential damage to its historical heritage.
Interesting people…
Trekroner, the third island, we would sail to and practice harbour maneuvers for Dueligheds Bevis exam.
Yes.
And all those words above to give a sensation of peculiarities of Island as space and beautiful, strange culture.
And because I feel there’s a vibe in Islands. And in places once upon a time abandoned by military.
Which shift then into another shape.
Sunday shadows, myths rewritten
Today is Sunday. Aloneness turns out to be pregnant with past-gathered stories, myths and images that ask me to bring them anew to the surface of today.
Semi-warm mischevious sun and Spring lurking shyly from behind tree barks. These trees are not blossoming yet. Here She comes again, yet again for the first time.
“Everything happens for the first time. Just in a way that is eternal.” (Borges)
Eternity of Change.
“Never yet have I found the woman from whom I wanted children, excerpt for this woman whom I love: for I love you, O Eternity!” (Zarathustra)
Eros and Thanatos – are one and same thing, said Deleuze* about Freud’s two opposites.
Maybe therefore none of the opposites can win? The Two don’t even take the resolving fight. They need each other untill a conflict as a process becomes complete. As much time as it takes. Like towards a child. Or towards love. (Inner) conflict is painful… and conscious. And one day, suddenly, it’s some subconscious force – the Anima – or some other train of unexpected outside events, who brings a resolution to the conflict of “opposites”. There is a fairytale that pictures it: the conflict between two opponents (the Faithful and the Unfaithful) gets surprisingly resoved by a third character, Anima (the Princess)**.
Fairytales and poetry have special language that makes it possible to understand. Gain a deeper insight. Bear in mind: it’s also the language of “the Weird”. The weird and anima are often neglected. The Other.
(Inner) conflict is painful often. When one believes (s)he has to choose between shadow and light.
14 years ago I received a special (back then) book from a friend: ‘Owning your own shadow’ by Robert N. . Since then I’ve gotten to like and understand almonds much more. Mandorla.
When I was little I wanted to be good. But I couldn’t somehow 😉 I was convnced I wanted to marry Jesus, because he was good.
For years it felt there was some missing element in religion. Now in adult life I know what it is. Attraction. Mutual attraction between human and God. Maria Magdalena maybe? Or at least some kind of Anima of Jesus.***
* on Eros and Thanatos being one. Pleasure (life drive) contains in itself death drive – that appears as a “curved line” to libido. Libido is in turn sustained through repetition.
(Quote by Deleuze, taken from S. Zizek’s book “Living in the end times”)
** from a chapter ‘the Anima and the Heroes’ by Marie Louise von Franz
*** my own little Sunday blasphemy
**** original photo by Josh Blake
Intimacy of Death
I have an honor of presenting a visual Death Testimony, created by a wonderful woman called Rose.
Rose wrote…
I would like to share a little testimony about the intimacy of Death.
As my mother passed away the family chose to keep her in her home for three days never leaving her alone.
I spend the nights alone at her side and watched the rapid changes of her face and body trying to capture her transition with my pens and brushes.
I realized that Death is all but silent, but in the lack of words describing the phenomenon other systems of non-verbal expression takes over, languages of prayers, dreams and poetry, art and music.
In my testimony I share the intimate process of grief that could only be expressed in poetic ways recovering the world after the loss of a huge impact in life.
I share with you the sketches and drawings I made of my mother after she passed away, but also the recovery of her lost places as I one day suddenly discovered her portrait on the surface of the moon ~
soul synchronizes what cannot be spoken, I hope you will receive the soulful message
Sisters Hope’s Symbolic Testament
“ I want to thank everyone who came to my funeral (…)“
stop for a moment, press play, take three breaths and look around.
Come back. continue being a witness…
Her office was already dark when I stepped inside.
Dimmed lights, I mean, suede turquiose pillows, soft carpet that makes one wanna live and love.
She then lied down on this black carpet.
With my hands, I prepared her body … for transition.
I lit the candle.
Her candle and Her golden nail behind her head crown.
I covered her all, her face last.
I let her be where I was not, her Time was ticking different than mine.
After Time, I uncovered her slowly
… so she could, so alive, take a distance to herself.
She was standing there, looking at Her from that Time some whiles ago when she was lying fully covered, her candle burning.
Then she spoke.
I want to thank everyone who came to my funeral (…)
I listened, I witnessed.
Then when She finished the speech …
… I took three breaths and started to write what I had heard.
Sister’s symbolic Testament was donated to Sisters Hope Home Archive on 23 November 2021 by Iwona Rejmus
as part of her art project
Life ~ Death ~ Testament
Now.
wherever you are, stop and press play, close your eyes and then close this page
…when you feel it’s time
Queering Paths and Phenomenology of Becoming
The most intriguing of all in this Queer Mermaids project is not the question of ‘am I queer?‘, but rather ‘how this process shapes the way I orientate myself in time and space: both alone and when extending myself through Others‘. Phenomenology of becoming.
Recently I got fascinated by a Polish philosopher Anna Teresa Tymieniecka, my new discovery, my homeland phenomenologist.
She writes spot-on about the power of an experiencing individual – which is specially interesting in the context of workshops and exploratory rituals I’ve been creating…
the horizons of experience are movable and infinitely extendable, depending on viewpoint, situation in space and time, and on the powers of the experiencing subject, his/her reception and appreciation. (*1
You might have experienced that too?… imagine you are given a “gift”, possibly an inspiring lecture or a mesmerizing concert or a love gesture from somebody. Sometimes your body and mind are so receptive that the experience becomes profound. Other times you do not notice, you do not feel much, while exactly the same gift is lying in front of you. It’s suddenly less accessible, as if your ‘horizon of experience’ is (temporarily) limited.
Tymieniecka’s Phenomenology of Life revolves around an intriguing notion ontopoiesis.
Viewed as a “mechanism” of consciousness operating within the individual psyche, ontopoiesis underlies the human development, and serves not only as the foundation for development after the deep spiritual experience, but also as the basis for life transitions, transformations of meaning, and reconstruction of the human self affected by trauma. (*2
Significant life- and meaning-transitions are constantly (re)shaping ‘human self’ (one’s ‘overall’ identity). Those triggering moments of transformation – and this is a core addition to my Master Thesis – happen so often when experiencing something for the first time …or in States of Disorientation. Queering moments.
I have met a lot of ‘queer’ people on my recent path, I have however never really identified myself as ‘queer’. But my fascination for the concept started again when reading ‘Queer Phenomenology’ (*3. If queer as a spatial concept is a deviation from a straight line, I thought that I am maybe not queer, but my lifestyle and life path I chose (or was thrown on?) is quite queer. And there is more people living differently. Artistic research started. Here is a little film from our last project ‘Mermaid Oracles are walking the Line’ – together extending the notion of QUEER…
(*1 ‘The New Enlightenment:
Cosmo-Transcendental Positioning of the Living Being in the Universe’ by ANNA-TERESA TYMIENIECKA
(*2
(*3 by Sarah Ahmed